Because I have so many snarky comments that I want to make about pop music (and especially about country music), but I can only make them to other people who like pop music and country music. For instance, there’s a really weird song on country music radio right now called “I Don’t Dance” and I can’t make heads or tails of this song (the refrain is: “You’ve got me in the palm of your hand / because I don’t dance”), but I can’t talk about it with anyone, because all of my friends would be like, uhh, of course it doesn’t make sense…it’s country music.

Philistines.

Also, why do the two brothers in The Band Perry have such bizarre haircuts? They’re like these weird 1980s rocker shag cuts, but these guys are part of a super clean-cut family band. It’s weird.